There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
