Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How does it feel to date your dad?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
