Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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