He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You pole danced in your parka.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
