She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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