if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
