i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize