i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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