The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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