their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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