no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
