I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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