I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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