would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
