i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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