yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
