I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
