He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
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I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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