Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
