well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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