On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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