Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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