Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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