I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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