I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
