How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
