Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
