no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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