I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
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Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
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Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize