Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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