I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
