I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
