bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
