we have officially lost it.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
