You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
