all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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