I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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