I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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