So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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