hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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