i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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