guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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