what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
