I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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