I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
