...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize