I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
