i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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