What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
