i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
40s are totally the cure
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
