got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
