Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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