hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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