hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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