Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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