So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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