It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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