we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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