Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
