you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
