carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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