You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Panties = found
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
