I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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