How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
