i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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