i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
