When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
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I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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