Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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